Addiction Not Addict

I refuse to say the words, “I am an add***.” I
suffered with an addiction.

I am not an addict.  I had a love-hate relationship with a very rare and expensive Scotch and a few other alcoholic beverages when I did not want to deal with the pain inside of me.  I used it to numb my pain, to forget for a while; so that I didn’t have to think about it.

We do not hear people with psychological problems and seeking mental health help introducing themselves by saying, ‘Hi, my name is XXX, and I am a bipolar; or I am a cancer, etc.?”

So why do people with addictions have to repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly keep saying those words? Words have power, words are energy and when we say something over and over and over again – eventually it becomes such a part of us that we will be unable to identify with anything other than those words.  It’s like programming your brain.

I don’t want to be repeatedly saying those words to myself, because frankly they do not make me feel very good about myself.  It is NOT who I am.  It is just a pretty horrendous thing I went through, that I suffered with — but damn it, it is not who I am. I believe in the absolute power and energy of our thoughts and words.

When I drank I had a problem dealing with pain, and then the alcohol became the problem. Once the supposed solution (so I thought) it then became the problem.

In my life I’ve held roles or positions as an employee, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a church goer, etc., but those are only qualities, roles and characteristics of me.  None of them define me enough such that I could say it is all that I am; not even in my role as a mother.

I stopped labelling myself that way a long time ago.  I felt the need to share this with others and on and off I’ve said things in discussions.  But, the addictions are getting worse than ever, and I felt an urgency to say something.

Please only call yourself by names that give you reason to love yourself, to grow.  We can say that we have a problem with drugs or alcohol.  We do have to admit that to ourselves before we can start healing.

Unless you want to forever think of yourself in a traumatizing way, stop using words you do not want to identify yourself by or with.  The spoken word is so powerful; it holds energy.  YHWH spoke a word and created, and we’re made in the same image as Creator.  Please, please think about this, I pray.

I wish everyone many millions upon millions of free and joy filled moments and days in your journey on earth.  We are all loved so much more than we realize, and we are all so much more powerful and gracious than we realize.

 

2 comments

  1. It seems to me sometimes that the AA groups are like a “dry” social club and many people have made it their “god” in response to the idea of a “higher power”; that is AA has become the higher power. I find it sad in so many ways. But, if it keeps folks clean (not necessarily sober, just dry), it is better than the way they were.

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  2. That was always a troubling aspect to me about AA. Not that I was ever in AA, but I had a friend that went to SAA or sexual addicts anonymous. She gave me the AA book, because that is basically the handbook for all the AAs out there, so I could understand what they were doing.
    It was my contention then as it still is now, “How can you label yourself as being something and get over it, while at the same time considering yourself to be it.” Your self talk is out of wack. I’m a recovery artist would make a lot more sense. Now we are moving in the right direction.
    What we tell ourselves we are, we are. If we want to be something different than we are, we have to begin using that kind of language and moving in that kind of direction.
    And while I’m at it, I’m a cure guy. I don’t want to continually live out bad chapters of the past. I just want to write new ones. There are cures. All the AAs should admit it, and begin to move into them.

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