I refuse to say the words, “I am an add***.” I
suffered with an addiction.
I am not an addict. I had a love-hate relationship with a very rare and expensive Scotch and a few other alcoholic beverages when I did not want to deal with the pain inside of me. I used it to numb my pain, to forget for a while; so that I didn’t have to think about it.
We do not hear people with psychological problems and seeking mental health help introducing themselves by saying, ‘Hi, my name is XXX, and I am a bipolar; or I am a cancer, etc.?”
So why do people with addictions have to repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly keep saying those words? Words have power, words are energy and when we say something over and over and over again – eventually it becomes such a part of us that we will be unable to identify with anything other than those words. It’s like programming your brain.
I don’t want to be repeatedly saying those words to myself, because frankly they do not make me feel very good about myself. It is NOT who I am. It is just a pretty horrendous thing I went through, that I suffered with — but damn it, it is not who I am. I believe in the absolute power and energy of our thoughts and words.
When I drank I had a problem dealing with pain, and then the alcohol became the problem. Once the supposed solution (so I thought) it then became the problem.
In my life I’ve held roles or positions as an employee, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a church goer, etc., but those are only qualities, roles and characteristics of me. None of them define me enough such that I could say it is all that I am; not even in my role as a mother.
I stopped labelling myself that way a long time ago. I felt the need to share this with others and on and off I’ve said things in discussions. But, the addictions are getting worse than ever, and I felt an urgency to say something.
Please only call yourself by names that give you reason to love yourself, to grow. We can say that we have a problem with drugs or alcohol. We do have to admit that to ourselves before we can start healing.
Unless you want to forever think of yourself in a traumatizing way, stop using words you do not want to identify yourself by or with. The spoken word is so powerful; it holds energy. YHWH spoke a word and created, and we’re made in the same image as Creator. Please, please think about this, I pray.
I wish everyone many millions upon millions of free and joy filled moments and days in your journey on earth. We are all loved so much more than we realize, and we are all so much more powerful and gracious than we realize.