23 Years: Grief Resurfaces

It is July 23rd, the day on which my oldest and youngest brothers were born, 10 years apart.

23 years ago I lost my oldest brother on July 22, one day before his 46th birthday.

I have been melancholy the past few days and unable to put my finger on the why; until now!

23 years have gone by. Some may think that’s a long time and grieving ought to be over and done with.

I am here to tell you that grief, like all emotions is alive; never dies, just fades into the background and even 23 years later will resurface with a message and/or a question.

The thing is we have to take the time to stop and listen…..and feel! Yes, cry and scream if that’s how we feel.  Don’t run away or stifle or try to numb those feelings with drugs, alcohol, food, sex.

These resurfacing feelings are our friends and if we allow them, they also become our comforters and sometimes guides for our next steps.

Greet them like friends; embrace and welcome them. Then sit in silence in some special place. Be alone with them and hear what they have to say.

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